Love them or hate them “B” movies have become the steady workhorse of the horror genre. They are cheap, poorly acted, weak plotted and more often that not the seventh sequel to a huge hit over a decade ago. However, every now and again along comes a “B” movie that grabs our attention, a film that rises above its lack of script, budget and acting talent to become beloved. It becomes beyond criticism, falling into one of 2 categories. The first is the hardest category to achieve, that of cult status despite having nothing going for it. Whilst the movie is not critically acclaimed or probably even that good it becomes accepted to the fans as a work of art. A masterpiece of bad cinematic history that rises above it all to gain the title of “so bad it’s good”. An example of this would be “Blood Diner” a terrible movie that pushes all the right buttons.
The second category is much more attainable to the common “B” stinker. That is that of a movie that its weaknesses are over looked by the fans because the movie is just so damn entertaining. Prime example of this would be “Army of Darkness”. I will probably get panned for this but lets face it the film is weak, the script is terrible and the dialogue is beyond bad, but the movie is just so damn fun that its universally loved by the horror community. Now I have been watching and reviewing horror for well over 2 decades now and I have seen many movies fall into both categories. The norm is that a movie will enter one of these categories after many years of word of mouth and fan following. That was until last year. When “snakes on a plane” was announced people laughed their asses of. Within week the internet was abuzz with hype, parodies, lovers and hater alike. The movie achieved “so bad its good” status months before it even finished filming. People were excited at the prospect of the movie stinking up the place so bad that it would go down in history as the best of the bad. The only problem is that the movie that should be utter shit on a stick just isn’t bad at all. Worse yet, its fucking awesome. “Snakes” is simply the ultimate “B” movie. It has it all, bad acting, terrible script, corny dialogue and about as much chance of an Oscan nomination as I have of banging Hale Berry. Yet it is without doubt a good movie. I’m struggling with how to explain this. I can’t put it in “so bad its good” because despite itself it just inst a bad movie. The premise of “snakes” is simple. Young biker witnesses Mafioso type killing lawyer, is being transferred by plane to trial to act as a witness by bad as agent. Mafioso has managed to fill said plane with a shit load of snakes on a time release. Hilarity ensues. The movie is forgettable for the first act as it follows the standard witness/Mafioso movie genre, but when the snakes show up all hell breaks loose and it doesn’t stop until the credits roll. The movie is a non stop fun fest with laughs, scares (really this is the first movie that made me jump in a decade), classic one liners and memorable characters. There are just a few things that really bring this baby home. The first is the though that has gone into the deaths, by god these are some creative deaths. I have seen literally thousands of people die in horror movies and “snakes” must have had at least 5 deaths I have never seen before. And I am not just talking human deaths either, the passengers and crew get creative on the snakes asses with their defenses too.
Overall the movie boasts a massive body count that is just great great fun. The second thing as per the norm is Samuel Jackson. Is there anyone on earth that is even on his level of cool? The dude is just awesome in any roll and this is no different. I have no doubt that this movie would have been half as fun with any other actor in the lead. He is just basically being himself and clearly having a ball doing so. Third and finally is the mosaic of “B” movie crap that has been thrown together in one flight and somehow works a treat. Every “B” movie stereotype ever devised is on this flight. The horny newlyweds, the prissy British guy you cant wait to see buy it, the gay flight attendant (how just happens to have a smoking hot girlfriend), etc etc etc all the way to a fucking kickboxing champ. Other “B” standards include dead pilots and passenger taking control of plane, insta-romance between two of the snake fodder, geeky scientist that just happens to know absolutely everything of the top of his head with no research undertaken. Oh and the nice surprise that the annoying little dog buys it, big time. I can just imagine the production meeting, “dude we totally have got to have snake vision in the movie………..pass the bong” and “you know what would just make this movie awesome…………a kickboxing champ”. Snakes is just an awesomely fun movie that even the hardest of cynics will have trouble denying, a movie that has already achieved cult status in both of the previously mentioned categories only 6 days after its release whilst at the same time actually being a good movie. It’s a fun time that will make you howl with laughter, cringe with cheesiness and jump with fear. You will enjoy every minute of it and if you don’t your already dead. 8/10